Landing in my ‘Dream’ Job - Reflections

During a conversation with a friend, I had a realisation that I was in my ‘dream job’ that I’d wanted to work in, in people development and facilitation. It was about 4 years back when I started facilitating with Pivotal Youth, it helped me to connect with myself, and made contact with parts of me I didn’t dared to. Emotions don’t feel so scary when we learn to hold space and understand them.

It was because of this I believe very much in the power of facilitation and community, where people come together with a common purpose, to connect, serve, and hold space for each other. To this day, this dream scares me as much as it excites me!

Anyway, this piece is written for folks who are looking for their ‘dream job’.

Actually, I never really felt like this was my ‘dream job’ from the start. In fact, I was pretty hesitant about joining the government, because I didn’t really like bureaucratic red tape, it just feels so mechanical and draining. I heard many horror stories about staffing. :o

Managing Expectations

So it took a while for me to adjust and calibrate my expectations, and to see for myself what this new place has to offer. Of course, if you enter a place with high expectations, be prepared to be disappointed. Not gonna lie, there were some moments of disappointment, but there were many more moments of hope, inspiration, and courage. I feel very heartened to see many grounded and authentic leaders in the public service, serving with passion and purpose. And bringing humanity back to the workplace, which I feel is very much needed.

The conventional way of thinking about a ‘dream job’ may be one that meets the hygiene factors, and much more - think working for Google - excellent reputation, innovative, cool office, has many staff benefits, gives you an edge in your CV, etc.

What lights you up?

However, I think that working in my dream job is synonymous with fighting for my passion with purpose. It’s cliche, but I think when we do things that light us up, the world lights up too. When we find people, purpose, and things worth suffering for. I don’t mind the pain, because I see that it’s worth it. Where it meets my needs and also meets the needs of others.

What does the world need?

Another thought: Is the realization that the world doesn’t need me - we are indispensable in some way - but I want to create something that can serve what the world needs. And I think the world needs more humanity in leadership. I know it’s ‘just a job’ to some people, but given that we’re spending a third of our time at work each day (or more), wouldn’t it be great if we have an environment where people connect and thrive together AND meet performance goals?

I think sometimes people, even myself, are too quick to judge. It makes a difference if I’d just pause and think about where the other person may be coming from, and what their world could be like. We tend to imagine the worst of others, which is usually not true, so learning to hold others (and ourselves) lightly, with compassion, is something life-giving to me.

Rethinking Priorities

Another message I’d like to say is that the ‘dream job’ doesn’t have to look a certain way, because the ideal changes as we grow too, depending on our priorities - health, family, children, etc. The question to ask isn’t about “How can I land in my dream job?” but:

What is the crossroad at which I find myself at this point in my life and work?

You may have a longing, a wish, but something is stopping you from pursuing it - it could be circumstances, beliefs, or perhaps the desire is not just strong enough for you to take action. But regardless, it is useful to examine what the crossroads are, because it helps to lay out the options, and where you are at, and you can make a more informed choice. Another useful inquiry would be:

What is my contribution to the problem I am concerned with?

You don’t necessarily have to leave your job for a dream job, sometimes it’s about recognising our responsibility and contribution to your ‘complain’. That can be very freeing. In that moment, perhaps you can start creating your dream job! Because the responsibility now lies with you, and not others! And responsibility here refers to, the ability to respond, in a way that’s intentional.

What commitment am I willing to make?

This is something I often underestimate - small actions, over time, form habits, and making a commitment is an intentional choice to develop what you need to achieve what you want. It is a powerful declaration. A personal stand. That can be very life changing!

What is the price I am willing to pay?

All choices come with hidden costs we often don’t see. I do find that people often (including myself) are not able to fully see the consequences of their actions. This inquiry helps me to explore that. I have two stories I’d like to share on this:

I was once an hour plus late for a facilitation job at Pivotal (i overslept z_z), and upon arriving at Nanyang Polytechnic, I rushed to the training room. Before I could enter, the facilitator came out to have a conversation with me.

He challenged me, asking me, “what is the price I pay for not being on time?” I can’t remember what was my answer, but it was probably along the lines of a feeling that I could not be relied on. Reliability, and reputation. He asked me, what else? And I was like, um, maybe about $10? (I think that was my hourly pay back then..so if I needed to pay that back, yea it would be $10…)

And what is the price others pay? Then I was stunned. “Err, they have to cover for me…” There were about 6 other facilitators…so I added, “and that would be about 6 people’s hourly pay, so about $60” So in total, the ‘price’ i had to pay was $70.

He could have easily let me go. But because he challenged me and held me accountable, I gained much more than what I paid for.

I am still late sometimes (boo boo), but I’m more aware of the impact of my actions, and I’d be more intentional to make amendments to what I have caused.

Another story:

In my early twenties, I was very excited about exploring opportunities for me to grow, I met many passionate individuals-turned-friends while running openjio. At one time, I was working full-time, running openjio, and being part of a startup. I know, crazy right?

I realised I tended to get excited/curious easily, and take on projects which interest me. I also have a tendency to start projects that I can’t complete. In some instances, I worked in a group so my team members (thankfully a couple are completer-finishers - this is a reference to Belbin Team profiling haha) so work gets done.

Anyway, the issue is that I’d feel like I was burning out every 6 months or so. And it took me a while for me to notice this cycle, thankfully I had friends who pointed it out to me too. One friend whom I trusted shared with me, that before he takes on new projects, he’d examine what was on his plate currently because when he commits, he commits 101%. The most important lesson I learned here was accountability and having a friend that kept me accountable made such a big difference in my life. I saw the price of my actions on others, and how it would affect my team members when I jump on new ideas. I saw the price I had to pay, which was burning out, and also felt bad that I couldn’t see through some projects.

Another friend shared with me that when we say yes to something, we’re also saying no to everything else. So, make the yes count! (Especially for my fellow generators in Human Design, haha!)

Sometimes we’re just not willing to pay the price, and that’s ok. Sometimes choosing not to, may be the best choice after all. :)

You may not know what’s your dream, and that’s ok

Most of the time, it’s through doing that we discover what we are strong or weak at, and we learn from our failures. Sometimes we discover that our dreams become nightmares. This sounds bad, but the good news is that it helps us to get grounded in reality and learn from it, and gets us to start thinking about what we really value or need. I pray that we each muster courage and care for ourselves, to actively pursue that which aligns with us.

And I’d like to think that we have multiple dreams, and a dream job is just one of them. I dream of singing covers and duets onstage someday, and I just signed up for a singing class! Never been to one ever since I left choir in secondary school. I just feel like music expresses humanity beyond words, it’s embodied in the tone. I am (literally) the instrument.

Shout-outs! Good things must share. ;)

PS. A shout-out to Pivotal Youth: They are currently looking for youths who are keen to facilitate leadership development programmes in schools. If you are keen to find out more, sign up here. There’s an onboarding session coming up, and if you’re interested, you can pm me for details, or drop a comment below and i’ll reach out to you!

PPS. I am currently working at the Institute of Leadership and Organisation Development, Civil Service College. Just didn’t want to mention it earlier because i think it’s not the point, but just in case you’re curious about the “dream job”. Also to provide additional context to what I’ve shared above.

We are also looking to hire a Consultant, Organisation Development. If you are passionate about building leaders, partnerships, and systems for a more connected, healthy, and equal Singapore - we welcome you to apply!

Credits:

The questions above were inspired by Peter Block’s The Answer to How is Yes.

This post on Crossroads by Khuyen also came to my mind, thought to share.