The power of ‘Noticing’ - on being present
I am currently on a 8-day leave from work since 17 June. (yay!) Today marks the 4th of my leave. I notice during the first few days, there was some anxiety, and tension, i had thoughts of wanting to maximise these 8 days, and the pressure to do and achieve many things. I also felt pressure to reply my emails at times, at which there are moments I succumb to it. I noticed I felt really stressed replying my emails last friday morning. I did the same this morning - replying to 2 emails - but with much greater lightness and joy in me.
It made me curious, i was doing the same thing, but my being was different.
I noticed my curiosity.
Hence this post is titled, the power of ‘noticing’.
Practice: What did you notice about yourself right now? Just say what comes out naturally for you.
Try this for a minute! “I notice…”
I notice….(physical sensation)
Eg. I notice tightness in my right shoulder; i notice my feet is feeling cold
I notice….(thought)
Eg. I notice that my mind is busy; i notice that i am still thinking about….
I notice….(feeling)
Eg. I notice that I am feeling worried/anxious/excited.
The Four Noble Truths
1. Suffering is Universal.
2. The origin of Suffering is Attachment.
3. The Cessation of Suffering is Attainable.
4. Path to the Cessation of Suffering is Detachment.
— The Buddha
Reflect: How was your experience? What did you discover?
This is one simple practice done during Circling sessions. I went for a few over the weekend and earlier this morning, and this is what i discovered about myself:
I notice there is a lightness in me, and i think it arises from the practice of detaching my thoughts, emotions, sensations from me.
aka the distinction that “I am not my thoughts/emotions/sensations”
In this process of detachment, I feel more alive in the present moment. Loving life’s paradoxes.
Having the safe space to just share what I am experiencing within me, and my experience of someone else creates this bond and connection which is so human!
By allowing myself to notice whatever comes up, even my own resistance, naming it instead of repressing it, it feels freeing.
It creates a space where things slow down, to notice and be curious about what you notice. What is it trying to tell me?
At first, it was difficult to notice sensations because I wasn’t practicing that. So if you found it difficult - be kind to yourself, you have only just started! In our modern society today, it’s very easy to desensitise ourselves without even knowing; it could be snacking to avoid feeling stress; or holding back to avoid fear; and that’s okay too because we are human. It is what it is. Humans are imperfect.
Misconceptions of ‘being present’
Being present often connotes the idea of being fully engaged 100% of the time. That could sound like an ideal situation, but we would also have experienced moments where we felt disengaged during meetings, struggling to be present because we may have worries at the back of our heads.
Here’s another paradox - Disconnection is needed for connection; and we can be connected in disconnection. Letting the other person know, “I notice I got distracted, could you repeat that?” ; “I notice I am feeling overwhelmed, I need some time.” By letting the other person know, there is some space to be made. And that creates connection!
Acceptance
I choose for this blog space to be one of acceptance. So that I can hold this space for myself, and do it for the same for others.
In brokenness, I am whole. I am whole because these cracks allow the light to flow through. What do these cracks symbolise? It meant that it’s perfectly human to make mistakes. It’s okay to not be okay. There are days where I catch myself with spiralling thoughts of self-doubt, and they seemed so true, and in fact i had believed those thoughts for a really long time it felt like they were a part of me. Sometimes it felt hard to believe not so, because that’s all I could see, right?
I think it’s wonderful to believe that every person in my life right now is here for a reason. I’d like to think that they are here because they can teach me something – patience, loss, love. Acceptance.
What is life, really? I think life is just what we choose to believe about others, and about ourselves? Because i think that really makes all the difference.
Believing is seeing. Choosing to see. Helping people to see something beautiful within themselves that they don’t see. Sometimes we forget our own beauty within and we just need people to remind us. We need to remind each other the beauties of our existence, for none of these paths are “by chance”.
And sometimes I forget that life is my own journey to take. I get caught up comparing my lives with others, creating this dissatisfaction in myself. Then I judge myself for thinking like that. hahaha. quite funny right? I just realised how much energy is spend on beating myself, again. But that’s okay too.
I can choose to laugh at myself too. I can choose look at these memories fondly. And they are very much so. When I stop trying to “fix” things, everything seems like it’s…working? It doesn’t mean that these issues don’t exist, but it means that I allow them to exist instead of changing them. I really think many things in life are beyond our control. By allowing them to exist, I am allowing them to just be. I am allowing myself for a deeper connection…
And perhaps by truly connecting, that’s how things can truly change?
This is a reminder that i’m my own person. And i’m on my own journey. That I have an awesome, supportive group of friends with me, and I’m not alone. It’s also a reminder for me to that i don’t need permission to be myself. And it’s okay to be rejected, because it does not mean I am rejected. Rejections speak more about the other than myself. Understand where that rejection really comes from. Hurt people, hurt people.
My achievements don’t define me, I define my achievements. Achievements are over-glorified huh. I think times worth celebrating are often things that people don’t see. Moments when one chooses to speak out even though you feel heart-pumping sweaty scared. More often than not, we only see the triumphs, and little attention goes behind the struggles behind the triumph – i think that’s something worth truly celebrating.
So if you’re reading this, remember to celebrate these moments 🙂 These are moments, no matter how tiny, are significant steps of you being you. That’s the most wonderful gift to the world and people around you.
Sometimes I forget. That’s why I need to type this while i remember.